The Air Apparent
Popular seagoing mythology has it that the generation of wind on a yacht, which of course is its motive power, can at times be enhanced by certain bodily functions. This poem questions the validity of this piece of mythology.
The Air Apparent
November 2000
by Jim Mc Cormack and “Scotty” of Ausail fame.
If farts could drive a boat at sea
This yacht would ‘ere be swift
Because they don’t, when theres no wind
The boat and smell both drift
From Lord Howes shore we sometime flow
While other times meandered
Discussion on our shits and farts
Became conversation standard
The moisture content, odour, weight,
Were all considered and remarked
With observations, manifold
Each time a new fart was embarked
But still the yacht would sail no faster
Despite our arseholes’ heavy work
The moral is to trim the boat
Since farting’s just a sailing quirk
The Air Apparent
November 2000
by Jim Mc Cormack and “Scotty” of Ausail fame.
If farts could drive a boat at sea
This yacht would ‘ere be swift
Because they don’t, when theres no wind
The boat and smell both drift
From Lord Howes shore we sometime flow
While other times meandered
Discussion on our shits and farts
Became conversation standard
The moisture content, odour, weight,
Were all considered and remarked
With observations, manifold
Each time a new fart was embarked
But still the yacht would sail no faster
Despite our arseholes’ heavy work
The moral is to trim the boat
Since farting’s just a sailing quirk
